1
00:00:00,455 --> 00:00:02,182
So, again, your alibi is
a mysterious stranger

2
00:00:02,183 --> 00:00:07,023
handed you the gun,
made you put your prints on it,

3
00:00:07,024 --> 00:00:09,229
robbed the store,
and then hid the gun

4
00:00:09,230 --> 00:00:10,341
in your underpants.

5
00:00:10,342 --> 00:00:11,494
Well, yeah, if you say it
like that,

6
00:00:11,495 --> 00:00:12,657
it don't sound believable.

7
00:00:12,658 --> 00:00:13,889
Oh, hey, Captain.

8
00:00:13,890 --> 00:00:15,633
Did you get my report
on the Finley murder?

9
00:00:15,634 --> 00:00:17,207
Yeah, I looked it over.
Nice work.

10
00:00:17,208 --> 00:00:18,404
Good. Thanks, dad.

11
00:00:20,867 --> 00:00:23,002
Why is everyone
staring at me?

12
00:00:23,036 --> 00:00:24,770
You just called
Captain Holt "dad."

13
00:00:24,771 --> 00:00:26,005
You said, "thanks, dad."

14
00:00:26,039 --> 00:00:27,653
What? No, I didn't.
I said, "thanks, man."

15
00:00:27,674 --> 00:00:29,542
Do you see me as
a father figure, Peralta?

16
00:00:29,576 --> 00:00:31,444
No. If anything, I see you

17
00:00:31,478 --> 00:00:32,578
as a "bother" figure,

18
00:00:32,579 --> 00:00:33,913
'cause you're always
bothering me.

19
00:00:33,914 --> 00:00:36,215
Hey, show your father
some respect.

20
00:00:36,249 --> 00:00:37,683
I didn't call him dad.

21
00:00:37,718 --> 00:00:39,452
<i>No, no, no, no, Jacob.</i>

22
00:00:39,486 --> 00:00:40,653
I take it as a compliment.

23
00:00:40,687 --> 00:00:42,088
<i>It's not a big deal.</i>

24
00:00:42,089 --> 00:00:44,503
I called Vivian "mom" once,
and she's my fiancée.

25
00:00:44,524 --> 00:00:46,092
Guys, jump on that!

26
00:00:46,093 --> 00:00:47,626
Boyle has
psycho-sexual issues.

27
00:00:47,627 --> 00:00:48,799
<i>Old news.</i>

28
00:00:48,829 --> 00:00:50,796
But you calling Holt "daddy"...

29
00:00:50,797 --> 00:00:52,898
Hey, "daddy" is not
on the table here.

30
00:00:52,933 --> 00:00:54,972
But you did call him
"dad," dude.

31
00:00:55,002 --> 00:00:56,035
You shut up.
You've done nothing

32
00:00:56,036 --> 00:00:57,370
but lie since you got here.

33
00:00:57,371 --> 00:00:58,871
All right, all right,
I was lying about the holdup.

34
00:00:58,872 --> 00:01:00,473
But the dad thing,
that happened.

35
00:01:00,507 --> 00:01:02,208
Aha!

36
00:01:02,209 --> 00:01:03,542
He admitted that his alibi
was a lie.

37
00:01:03,577 --> 00:01:07,859
It was a trap, all part
of my crazy, devious plan.

38
00:01:07,881 --> 00:01:09,486
I believe you.
Thank you.

39
00:01:09,516 --> 00:01:11,050
Son.

40
00:01:11,084 --> 00:01:12,318
Do you want to talk
about it later

41
00:01:12,319 --> 00:01:15,388
over a game of catch?

42
00:01:15,389 --> 00:01:16,326
I'd like that.

43
00:01:16,356 --> 00:01:20,124
Sync and corrections by Rafael UPD
<font color="

44
00:01:37,277 --> 00:01:38,878
Thank you for coming in
on your day off.</i>

45
00:01:38,912 --> 00:01:40,225
<i>I know you'd all rather be
at home,</i>

46
00:01:40,247 --> 00:01:41,847
binge watching media content.

47
00:01:41,848 --> 00:01:43,916
Oh! I just started
the second season

48
00:01:43,917 --> 00:01:45,184
of media content.

49
00:01:45,185 --> 00:01:46,385
No spoilers.

50
00:01:46,420 --> 00:01:48,621
But these evaluations
are important.

51
00:01:48,622 --> 00:01:50,890
Sir, I think I speak
for all of us...

52
00:01:50,891 --> 00:01:52,291
She doesn't.

53
00:01:52,292 --> 00:01:54,327
When I say that we can't wait

54
00:01:54,328 --> 00:01:56,095
for you to sit
in judgment of us.

55
00:01:56,129 --> 00:01:58,631
Oh, these will be
self-evaluations, Santiago.

56
00:01:58,665 --> 00:02:00,900
Why... se.

57
00:02:00,901 --> 00:02:02,902
Very wise, sir.

58
00:02:02,903 --> 00:02:03,902
Nice save.

59
00:02:03,904 --> 00:02:05,204
<i>Also, please stay
out of the way</i>

60
00:02:05,205 --> 00:02:06,439
of the weekend squad.

61
00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:08,708
They are on duty,
and the bullpen is theirs.

62
00:02:08,709 --> 00:02:10,743
I hate the weekend squad.

63
00:02:10,744 --> 00:02:12,478
Detective Lohank
shaves at my desk

64
00:02:12,479 --> 00:02:13,646
and gets hair
all over my computer.

65
00:02:13,647 --> 00:02:15,481
My "R" key
is jammed with stubble.

66
00:02:15,515 --> 00:02:17,149
Well, that explains
the email you sent

67
00:02:17,150 --> 00:02:19,431
about the "guesome mude."

68
00:02:19,453 --> 00:02:21,120
Dismissed.

69
00:02:21,121 --> 00:02:23,268
<i>I'm pumped for these
evaluations, sir.</i>

70
00:02:23,290 --> 00:02:25,591
I can't wait to hear what you
have to say about my squad.

71
00:02:25,592 --> 00:02:27,326
<i>I think they've had
a great year.</i>

72
00:02:27,361 --> 00:02:29,295
I feel like
a proud mama hen

73
00:02:29,296 --> 00:02:31,464
whose baby chicks
have learned to fly.

74
00:02:31,498 --> 00:02:33,032
Interesting analogy,
sergeant.

75
00:02:33,033 --> 00:02:35,568
Chickens are famously bad
at flying.

76
00:02:35,569 --> 00:02:36,569
<i>Yo.</i>

77
00:02:36,603 --> 00:02:38,237
<i>Peralta asked to be first,</i>

78
00:02:38,238 --> 00:02:40,639
which shows how seriously
he's begun taking his job.

79
00:02:40,674 --> 00:02:42,241
Nope, I just want to get
this over with.

80
00:02:42,275 --> 00:02:43,576
So I have 72 arrests,

81
00:02:43,610 --> 00:02:46,045
an 80% clearance rate,

82
00:02:46,046 --> 00:02:48,347
but most importantly,

83
00:02:48,348 --> 00:02:50,082
I wore a tie sometimes.

84
00:02:50,117 --> 00:02:52,284
<i>- Now, I have a question</i>-

85
00:02:52,319 --> 00:02:54,754
Is there any way
I can borrow $430,000?

86
00:02:54,755 --> 00:02:56,756
Why on earth do you need
that much money?

87
00:02:56,757 --> 00:02:58,257
I need to buy my apartment.

88
00:02:58,291 --> 00:02:59,692
I've been living
at my Nana's place

89
00:02:59,693 --> 00:03:01,527
since she passed away
'cause it's rent-controlled,

90
00:03:01,528 --> 00:03:03,162
but now the building's
going co-op,

91
00:03:03,163 --> 00:03:04,476
so I have to buy it.

92
00:03:04,498 --> 00:03:07,300
I need to secure a loan
by the end of the day.

93
00:03:07,301 --> 00:03:09,402
Uh, so should we do
a wire transfer,

94
00:03:09,403 --> 00:03:10,670
or do you think cash
is easier?

95
00:03:10,671 --> 00:03:11,771
Let's just do cash.

96
00:03:11,805 --> 00:03:13,072
Shouldn't you be asking
somebody else

97
00:03:13,073 --> 00:03:14,206
for that kind of money?

98
00:03:14,207 --> 00:03:15,206
Like a bank?

99
00:03:15,208 --> 00:03:17,364
Yeah, I tried that.

100
00:03:22,949 --> 00:03:24,483
<i>Jake, I cannot believe</i>

101
00:03:24,518 --> 00:03:26,385
you're gonna lose
Nana's apartment.

102
00:03:26,386 --> 00:03:28,054
We grew up together.
We used to hang out there

103
00:03:28,055 --> 00:03:29,455
every day after school.

104
00:03:29,489 --> 00:03:32,325
That's right, because there was
no one to look after us,

105
00:03:32,326 --> 00:03:35,027
because our moms
both worked, and...

106
00:03:35,028 --> 00:03:37,163
We didn't have fathers

107
00:03:37,164 --> 00:03:38,264
because divorce.

108
00:03:38,298 --> 00:03:40,800
Peralta, I will not give you
a cool half mil

109
00:03:40,801 --> 00:03:42,806
because you had
a slightly sad childhood.

110
00:03:42,836 --> 00:03:45,271
<i>Go solve
your housing crisis.</i>

111
00:03:45,305 --> 00:03:46,605
Can I go with him?

112
00:03:46,606 --> 00:03:51,077
Nana made me the intelligent,
sensuous woman I am today.

113
00:03:51,111 --> 00:03:53,279
Weird way to describe
a grandma's influence on you.

114
00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:54,347
<i>I'm sorry, Gina.</i>

115
00:03:54,348 --> 00:03:55,815
I don't know
that we can spare you.

116
00:03:55,816 --> 00:03:57,850
Um, these are her notes
so far.

117
00:03:57,851 --> 00:04:00,086
"Empanadas, Atlantic city,
birth control."

118
00:04:00,087 --> 00:04:01,520
No, that's my travel journal.

119
00:04:01,521 --> 00:04:03,356
I haven't started
on the notes yet.

120
00:04:03,390 --> 00:04:05,324
You may go with Peralta.

121
00:04:05,325 --> 00:04:07,293
Thank you.

122
00:04:07,294 --> 00:04:09,495
I want to take Vivian
somewhere romantic tonight.

123
00:04:09,529 --> 00:04:10,709
How about this?

124
00:04:10,731 --> 00:04:11,864
<i>Graziolo's,</i>

125
00:04:11,898 --> 00:04:14,300
for the<i> porco digestivo</i> meal.

126
00:04:14,301 --> 00:04:17,903
It's a culinary tour
of a pig's digestive track.

127
00:04:17,938 --> 00:04:19,705
Pig bung gelato for two,
anyone?

128
00:04:19,740 --> 00:04:21,240
<i>Uh-oh, heads up.</i>

129
00:04:21,274 --> 00:04:22,273
Weekend crew.

130
00:04:26,780 --> 00:04:28,481
<i>I feel sad for you.</i>

131
00:04:28,482 --> 00:04:30,016
<i>I love my desk buddy.</i>

132
00:04:30,017 --> 00:04:31,550
Sometimes Detective Kearns
and I leave presents

133
00:04:31,551 --> 00:04:33,953
for each other.

134
00:04:33,954 --> 00:04:35,021
Yeah.

135
00:04:35,055 --> 00:04:36,401
Well, Lohank's
a stubble monkey.

136
00:04:36,423 --> 00:04:38,257
<i>I hate him
and his face garbage.</i>

137
00:04:38,258 --> 00:04:40,126
<i>Why don't you just tell him
to stop shaving at his desk?</i>

138
00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:42,662
He denies even doing it.
I don't know why.

139
00:04:42,663 --> 00:04:43,863
Next time I catch him shaving,

140
00:04:43,864 --> 00:04:45,064
I'm gonna punch him
so hard in the mouth

141
00:04:45,065 --> 00:04:47,633
he bites his own heart.

142
00:04:47,634 --> 00:04:49,502
Could that be why
he denies doing it?

143
00:04:49,503 --> 00:04:52,538
Oh, yeah, you could be right.
Yeah.

144
00:04:52,539 --> 00:04:54,373
<i>Oh, wow.</i>

145
00:04:54,374 --> 00:04:57,476
It is always so crazy
coming back here.

146
00:04:57,511 --> 00:04:59,078
Remember when Nana got cable?

147
00:04:59,079 --> 00:05:02,093
We watched<i> house party 2</i>
so many times.

148
00:05:02,115 --> 00:05:04,183
It was a pajama-jamma-jam.
We had no choice.

149
00:05:04,217 --> 00:05:05,718
Our hands were tied.
I gotta say,

150
00:05:05,719 --> 00:05:07,933
I'm psyched to be hanging
like this, old-school stylez.

151
00:05:07,955 --> 00:05:09,155
"Stylez" with a "Z".

152
00:05:09,189 --> 00:05:11,090
Oh, I could tell.

153
00:05:11,091 --> 00:05:12,658
Okay, well, maybe we can
figure out a way for you

154
00:05:12,659 --> 00:05:14,093
to afford this place.

155
00:05:14,094 --> 00:05:15,190
Where's all
your bank statements?

156
00:05:15,195 --> 00:05:17,563
Hup, hup, before we get
all financial,

157
00:05:17,564 --> 00:05:20,237
can I interest you
in an ice-cold foh-dy?

158
00:05:20,267 --> 00:05:22,868
A'ight.

159
00:05:22,903 --> 00:05:25,071
So talk to me, goose.
How we lookin'?

160
00:05:25,072 --> 00:05:27,239
Sexy, but not like
we're trying too hard.

161
00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:28,341
Like, sure, we're trying,

162
00:05:28,342 --> 00:05:30,176
but it's almost effortless.

163
00:05:30,210 --> 00:05:31,243
Yeah, no,
I knew all of that.

164
00:05:31,244 --> 00:05:32,243
I meant the money thing.

165
00:05:32,245 --> 00:05:34,146
Oh. My first impression

166
00:05:34,147 --> 00:05:37,450
is that you have a debilitating
spending problem.

167
00:05:37,451 --> 00:05:39,923
<i>Jake, you have
six massage chairs.</i>

168
00:05:39,953 --> 00:05:41,633
Well, they don't make
a massage couch.

169
00:05:41,655 --> 00:05:44,427
Okay, but you also have
three turntables.

170
00:05:44,458 --> 00:05:46,859
Ooh, yeah!
I'm learning how to spin.

171
00:05:46,893 --> 00:05:48,527
<i>Check it out.</i>

172
00:05:51,865 --> 00:05:54,267
All I have are my grandma's
old klezmer records,

173
00:05:54,268 --> 00:05:55,735
and I still haven't
quite figured out

174
00:05:55,736 --> 00:05:57,803
how to sync up the beats,
but it's not bad, right?

175
00:05:57,804 --> 00:05:58,971
It's awful!

176
00:05:59,006 --> 00:06:02,074
It sounds like joy behar
falling down some stairs.

177
00:06:02,109 --> 00:06:03,809
<i>Okay, you also purchased</i>

178
00:06:03,810 --> 00:06:07,513
<i>Olympus Has Fallen</i>
on demand 12 times.

179
00:06:07,514 --> 00:06:10,116
Was it a difficult movie
for you to follow?

180
00:06:10,117 --> 00:06:11,450
<i>No, just watched it a lot.</i>

181
00:06:11,451 --> 00:06:12,952
So hit me.

182
00:06:12,953 --> 00:06:15,208
How much do I have to cut back
in order to keep this place?

183
00:06:15,222 --> 00:06:17,890
Infinity percent.

184
00:06:17,891 --> 00:06:20,422
Technically speaking,
you're bankrupt, kiddo.

185
00:06:20,427 --> 00:06:21,727
That sounds bad.

186
00:06:21,762 --> 00:06:22,995
It is bad.

187
00:06:22,996 --> 00:06:25,302
I only said "kiddo"
to soften the blow, kiddo.

188
00:06:27,897 --> 00:06:29,098
This is so unfair.

189
00:06:29,099 --> 00:06:30,599
<i>I've lived in this building
15 years,</i>

190
00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:32,167
and then all of the sudden,
they decide they're going co-op

191
00:06:32,168 --> 00:06:33,335
with zero warning?

192
00:06:33,336 --> 00:06:34,503
It seems illegal

193
00:06:34,504 --> 00:06:36,071
they didn't tell you
this was happening.

194
00:06:36,072 --> 00:06:37,606
Well, it's possible
I missed a letter,

195
00:06:37,607 --> 00:06:38,641
but I doubt it.

196
00:06:38,642 --> 00:06:40,309
Ooh, let's check
the mail tub.

197
00:06:40,343 --> 00:06:41,510
Mail tub?

198
00:06:41,511 --> 00:06:42,811
Nope. No.

199
00:06:42,812 --> 00:06:44,146
No.

200
00:06:44,147 --> 00:06:46,849
See? It's impossible
to find anything in here.

201
00:06:46,850 --> 00:06:48,083
It's not my fault.

202
00:06:48,084 --> 00:06:49,418
This is actually
a cool little bathroom.

203
00:06:49,419 --> 00:06:51,153
Nice claw-foot tub.

204
00:06:51,187 --> 00:06:53,555
Which I will never throw
my mail into again.

205
00:06:53,556 --> 00:06:55,157
Unless...

206
00:06:55,158 --> 00:06:56,959
I didn't want to do this,
but I do know one way

207
00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:57,960
we could get the money.

208
00:06:57,961 --> 00:06:59,728
You'd make
a decent prostitute.

209
00:06:59,729 --> 00:07:01,563
I'd make an amazing prostitute.

210
00:07:01,564 --> 00:07:04,266
But I was actually talking
about this guy I know, Frank.

211
00:07:04,267 --> 00:07:07,002
He's kinda skeevy, but he will
loan money to anybody.

212
00:07:07,037 --> 00:07:08,704
So he's a loan shark.

213
00:07:08,705 --> 00:07:10,339
Maybe you're not
thinking this through.

214
00:07:10,340 --> 00:07:12,675
Says the woman who's been
engaged eight times.

215
00:07:12,676 --> 00:07:14,543
Uh, but never married once.

216
00:07:14,544 --> 00:07:16,345
Game, set, match... linetti.

217
00:07:16,346 --> 00:07:18,380
<i>Well, it's the only choice
I have.</i>

218
00:07:18,381 --> 00:07:20,449
So let's go.

219
00:07:20,483 --> 00:07:23,419
<i>Sir, I know we got off
to a weird start,</i>

220
00:07:23,453 --> 00:07:25,220
so to get things
back on track,

221
00:07:25,221 --> 00:07:27,489
I'd like to bring in
Santiago next.

222
00:07:27,490 --> 00:07:28,657
She's had a great year.

223
00:07:28,692 --> 00:07:29,892
You wanted
to see me, sirs?

224
00:07:29,926 --> 00:07:31,093
<i>I was reading
the sergeant's lips</i>

225
00:07:31,094 --> 00:07:32,394
through the window,
and he either said,

226
00:07:32,395 --> 00:07:34,029
"bring in Santiago next,"

227
00:07:34,030 --> 00:07:36,623
or something
about a San Diego nest.

228
00:07:36,633 --> 00:07:38,541
Are you ready
for your self-evaluation?

229
00:07:38,568 --> 00:07:41,002
I am.

230
00:07:41,004 --> 00:07:43,906
I understand from a lip-reading
session last week

231
00:07:43,907 --> 00:07:47,050
that you intend to ask us
each ten questions.

232
00:07:47,077 --> 00:07:48,310
Normally, yes,

233
00:07:48,311 --> 00:07:52,414
but for you, I have
just one question.

234
00:07:52,449 --> 00:07:54,116
What is your biggest...

235
00:07:54,117 --> 00:07:56,752
Flaw?

236
00:07:56,753 --> 00:07:59,187
My biggest flaw?

237
00:07:59,189 --> 00:08:02,825
Working too hard?

238
00:08:02,826 --> 00:08:05,461
Being too thorough?

239
00:08:05,495 --> 00:08:08,631
Caring too much?

240
00:08:08,632 --> 00:08:09,832
Got it.

241
00:08:09,833 --> 00:08:11,867
Something entirely different.

242
00:08:14,070 --> 00:08:15,638
Rosa, look!

243
00:08:15,639 --> 00:08:16,830
Lohank is shaving
right now.

244
00:08:29,119 --> 00:08:34,806
Noooo!

245
00:08:34,824 --> 00:08:36,125
Boyle, call an ambulance.

246
00:08:36,126 --> 00:08:37,475
I'm gonna do
some stuff to him.

247
00:08:37,494 --> 00:08:40,162
Or we give him a taste
of his own medicine.

248
00:08:40,163 --> 00:08:41,497
We fill his locker
with shaving cream

249
00:08:41,498 --> 00:08:43,532
and loose hair.

250
00:08:43,533 --> 00:08:44,833
I like it.

251
00:08:44,834 --> 00:08:46,735
I cannot believe
I am considering

252
00:08:46,736 --> 00:08:48,070
a non-violent option.

253
00:08:48,071 --> 00:08:51,197
And I know just where to get
a bundle of loose hair.

254
00:08:51,207 --> 00:08:53,575
<i>How much interest
do you charge?</i>

255
00:08:53,610 --> 00:08:55,010
Look, I'm not a bank.

256
00:08:55,045 --> 00:08:56,478
<i>It's my own personal money.</i>

257
00:08:56,513 --> 00:08:58,814
So I take a larger vig.

258
00:08:58,815 --> 00:08:59,815
20 points.

259
00:08:59,849 --> 00:09:01,417
A "vig." So cool.

260
00:09:01,418 --> 00:09:02,885
Well, I don't need much.

261
00:09:02,886 --> 00:09:05,128
Just, like, $430,000.

262
00:09:05,155 --> 00:09:06,555
Nah, too much.

263
00:09:06,556 --> 00:09:10,326
I make small loans
to desperate losers.

264
00:09:10,327 --> 00:09:12,302
And friends, like you.

265
00:09:12,329 --> 00:09:13,696
Well, I'm happy
this went terribly.

266
00:09:13,697 --> 00:09:16,098
Uh, we do have to go now,
so please excuse us.

267
00:09:16,099 --> 00:09:18,767
Wait, I just need enough
to show the co-op board

268
00:09:18,768 --> 00:09:20,336
I can make a down payment
at the bank.

269
00:09:20,370 --> 00:09:21,895
How about $20,000?

270
00:09:21,905 --> 00:09:23,672
Two bags of ziti?

271
00:09:23,673 --> 00:09:25,040
That I can do.

272
00:09:25,041 --> 00:09:26,909
"Bags of ziti?"

273
00:09:26,910 --> 00:09:28,811
Come on, Gina,
how awesome is that?

274
00:09:28,812 --> 00:09:29,878
Get on board.

275
00:09:29,913 --> 00:09:31,905
Come on, Gina.
Get on board.

276
00:09:31,915 --> 00:09:34,083
Jake, he is a sea witch
in disguise.

277
00:09:34,084 --> 00:09:35,909
Do not sing into his shell.

278
00:09:35,919 --> 00:09:38,520
I have no idea what you're
talking about right now.

279
00:09:38,521 --> 00:09:40,222
Oh, little mermaid.

280
00:09:40,223 --> 00:09:41,924
What have you done?

281
00:09:43,426 --> 00:09:44,834
Oh, yeah.

282
00:09:44,861 --> 00:09:46,377
Wow.

283
00:09:46,396 --> 00:09:48,564
Nothing gets you smiling
like cold-blooded vengeance.

284
00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:54,570
And now,
the piece de resistance.

285
00:09:54,571 --> 00:09:56,471
Emilio's giant bag of hair.

286
00:09:57,774 --> 00:10:00,609
Oh, this is disgusting.

287
00:10:00,610 --> 00:10:01,643
It's perfect.

288
00:10:01,645 --> 00:10:02,745
Ugh.
Ugh.

289
00:10:02,779 --> 00:10:05,547
Ooh, check... check this out.

290
00:10:08,184 --> 00:10:10,693
I'm Tom Selleck.
Park my chopper on the beach.

291
00:10:12,255 --> 00:10:15,323
I'm a Billy goat.

292
00:10:16,826 --> 00:10:19,528
Oh!

293
00:10:19,529 --> 00:10:22,097
Oh, I think I swallowed
a bunch of stranger hair.

294
00:10:22,098 --> 00:10:23,498
Ugh!

295
00:10:23,500 --> 00:10:24,874
<i>Hey.</i>

296
00:10:24,901 --> 00:10:26,835
Mr. Henders,
the King of the lobby.

297
00:10:26,870 --> 00:10:29,738
Jake, the co-op board meeting
was an hour ago.

298
00:10:29,773 --> 00:10:31,589
I know.
I am so sorry.

299
00:10:31,608 --> 00:10:34,643
It's just I've been pretty busy
with police work, you know,

300
00:10:34,644 --> 00:10:36,211
with my police friends,

301
00:10:36,212 --> 00:10:39,014
helping out non-police folk
such as yourself,

302
00:10:39,015 --> 00:10:41,016
keeping you safe police.

303
00:10:41,017 --> 00:10:42,017
We appreciate your service.

304
00:10:42,018 --> 00:10:43,319
And I appreciate you
saying that.

305
00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:45,120
Look, I know there's been
a lot of misconceptions

306
00:10:45,121 --> 00:10:46,622
about my financial situation,

307
00:10:46,656 --> 00:10:49,224
but I am ready to put that
to rest right now.

308
00:10:49,225 --> 00:10:50,984
Boom goes the dynamite.
Oh, my God.

309
00:10:50,994 --> 00:10:52,861
That's $20,000 right there,

310
00:10:52,862 --> 00:10:55,113
and I intend to use it
as a down payment on a mortgage.

311
00:10:55,131 --> 00:10:56,465
Where did you get this money?

312
00:10:56,499 --> 00:10:57,533
Just had it lying around.

313
00:10:57,567 --> 00:10:59,033
You've been
an adequate tenant.

314
00:10:59,035 --> 00:11:00,910
Adequate.
But we needed a completed application

315
00:11:00,937 --> 00:11:02,471
with a bank loan by today.

316
00:11:02,505 --> 00:11:04,640
With all due respect, sir,
that's not fair.

317
00:11:04,641 --> 00:11:05,908
I mean, I didn't even know
that the building

318
00:11:05,909 --> 00:11:07,176
was going co-op
until last week.

319
00:11:07,177 --> 00:11:08,209
I got one letter.

320
00:11:08,211 --> 00:11:10,086
We left you 15 voicemails
as well.

321
00:11:10,113 --> 00:11:11,914
Ah, voicemails.
Well, that explains it.

322
00:11:11,915 --> 00:11:14,116
My generation mostly texts.

323
00:11:14,117 --> 00:11:15,925
I'm only 33, so...

324
00:11:15,952 --> 00:11:17,468
We're in the same generation.
I'm 31.

325
00:11:17,487 --> 00:11:18,887
31?
Mm-hmm.

326
00:11:18,888 --> 00:11:20,346
But I call you "mister."

327
00:11:20,357 --> 00:11:23,125
And you wear a suit, and...

328
00:11:23,126 --> 00:11:24,693
That.

329
00:11:24,694 --> 00:11:26,436
Did you just point
at my bald spot?

330
00:11:26,463 --> 00:11:27,729
No.
Look.

331
00:11:27,731 --> 00:11:29,397
We're putting the apartment
on the market.

332
00:11:29,399 --> 00:11:31,133
We need to get it ready
for brokers to show.

333
00:11:31,134 --> 00:11:32,902
We need you out
by next friday.

334
00:11:32,936 --> 00:11:35,070
Ohhh, next friday's
a little tough for me.

335
00:11:35,071 --> 00:11:36,672
Is there any way
we could move it

336
00:11:36,673 --> 00:11:38,841
to the sunday after
eight years from next friday?

337
00:11:40,510 --> 00:11:41,810
Based on your judge-y eyes,

338
00:11:41,811 --> 00:11:44,680
I am going to take back
my dynamite.

339
00:11:44,681 --> 00:11:46,248
Un-boom.

340
00:11:46,249 --> 00:11:47,248
Un-boom.

341
00:11:47,250 --> 00:11:49,417
You got a full head...
Head of hair.

342
00:11:49,419 --> 00:11:51,253
Nope.
Okay.

343
00:11:55,351 --> 00:11:57,119
Aw, that bad?

344
00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:58,520
I'm gonna be homeless.

345
00:11:58,521 --> 00:11:59,955
A homeless cop.

346
00:11:59,956 --> 00:12:01,289
It's like a made-for-TV movie

347
00:12:01,290 --> 00:12:02,457
that I will not be able
to watch

348
00:12:02,458 --> 00:12:03,725
because I won't have
a television

349
00:12:03,726 --> 00:12:05,093
because I'll be homeless.

350
00:12:05,094 --> 00:12:06,595
Chin up, lil' pup.

351
00:12:06,596 --> 00:12:08,296
First of all, you could
watch it on your phone.

352
00:12:08,297 --> 00:12:11,433
Second, this isn't the only
apartment in the city.

353
00:12:11,434 --> 00:12:12,601
We'll find you a new one.

354
00:12:12,602 --> 00:12:14,770
You're right.

355
00:12:14,771 --> 00:12:16,204
You're right.
This could be good.

356
00:12:16,205 --> 00:12:17,639
I mean, maybe we'll find
a great place.

357
00:12:17,674 --> 00:12:19,675
Atta girl.
In a cooler neighborhood.

358
00:12:19,709 --> 00:12:20,782
That's right, girl.

359
00:12:20,810 --> 00:12:22,310
Maybe I'll even have
a cute neighbor.

360
00:12:22,345 --> 00:12:23,618
Get it, girl.

361
00:12:23,646 --> 00:12:25,080
You gotta stop
calling me girl.

362
00:12:25,114 --> 00:12:27,349
Sorry, girl.

363
00:12:27,383 --> 00:12:28,717
<i>Okay, sirs.</i>

364
00:12:28,718 --> 00:12:31,353
I know why you weren't happy
with my self-evaluation.

365
00:12:31,387 --> 00:12:32,521
You didn't want me
to say a flaw

366
00:12:32,555 --> 00:12:33,955
that was actually positive,

367
00:12:33,956 --> 00:12:35,791
like how the sergeant
always says it's bad

368
00:12:35,792 --> 00:12:37,298
that he works out too much.

369
00:12:37,327 --> 00:12:39,161
Whoa. Why the drive-by?

370
00:12:39,162 --> 00:12:40,161
Sorry.

371
00:12:40,163 --> 00:12:41,663
But that's not right,

372
00:12:41,664 --> 00:12:45,400
because you value honesty
and humility above all else.

373
00:12:45,401 --> 00:12:47,269
So what's your biggest flaw?

374
00:12:47,303 --> 00:12:48,970
My biggest flaw.

375
00:12:48,971 --> 00:12:50,978
I'm too competitive,
prone to jealousy,

376
00:12:51,007 --> 00:12:52,441
"bit of a killjoy,

377
00:12:52,475 --> 00:12:53,648
"follow rules to a fault,

378
00:12:53,676 --> 00:12:54,776
"don't know how to relax,

379
00:12:54,777 --> 00:12:59,181
and every now and then,
I smoke a cigarette."

380
00:12:59,182 --> 00:13:00,488
Is that what
you're looking for?

381
00:13:00,516 --> 00:13:01,984
Because I can keep going.

382
00:13:01,985 --> 00:13:03,251
I am deeply flawed.

383
00:13:03,286 --> 00:13:05,387
Santiago...
Oh, no.

384
00:13:05,421 --> 00:13:06,955
"Santiago" in "B" flat.

385
00:13:06,990 --> 00:13:08,056
You're disappointed.

386
00:13:08,091 --> 00:13:09,558
Okay, well,

387
00:13:09,559 --> 00:13:11,493
I'm going to go
to a secret location

388
00:13:11,494 --> 00:13:12,861
and make sure that nobody
is smoking there.

389
00:13:12,862 --> 00:13:14,463
I'll be right back.

390
00:13:15,465 --> 00:13:17,171
<i>Is this a pre-war?</i>

391
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:18,367
Ah, very good eye.

392
00:13:18,368 --> 00:13:20,341
And you should know
it's also pet-friendly.

393
00:13:20,370 --> 00:13:23,138
Really?
Do they allow cats?

394
00:13:23,172 --> 00:13:25,179
<i>I can't tell if you're
being sarcastic.</i>

395
00:13:25,208 --> 00:13:26,208
Okay.

396
00:13:26,209 --> 00:13:30,579
How would you even
get a bed in here?

397
00:13:30,613 --> 00:13:32,781
Oh, Murphy bed.

398
00:13:32,782 --> 00:13:33,781
Voila.

399
00:13:33,783 --> 00:13:34,950
Nope.

400
00:13:34,984 --> 00:13:36,685
This is kinda cool.

401
00:13:36,686 --> 00:13:38,453
<i>High ceilings,
so many windows.</i>

402
00:13:38,488 --> 00:13:40,022
Gina, the toilet is

403
00:13:40,023 --> 00:13:42,624
in the middle
of the living room.

404
00:13:42,659 --> 00:13:43,792
I think it's sexy.

405
00:13:45,395 --> 00:13:47,535
Aah!

406
00:13:47,563 --> 00:13:48,930
<i>So when's this going down?</i>

407
00:13:48,965 --> 00:13:50,632
Well, normally, lohank hits
the locker room

408
00:13:50,633 --> 00:13:51,873
when he goes to the gym,

409
00:13:51,901 --> 00:13:54,670
so let's see when he plans
on working out.

410
00:13:54,704 --> 00:13:56,471
<i>So, lohank,
I was reading an article</i>

411
00:13:56,506 --> 00:13:58,173
about the benefits
of exercise...

412
00:13:58,174 --> 00:13:59,441
You going to the gym today?

413
00:13:59,475 --> 00:14:01,048
Not today. Been spending
all my breaks on the phone

414
00:14:01,077 --> 00:14:02,678
<i>with my wife, Nancy.</i>

415
00:14:02,712 --> 00:14:04,479
We've been having
marital problems.

416
00:14:04,514 --> 00:14:05,847
Right, 'cause of your hygiene?

417
00:14:05,882 --> 00:14:08,750
What? No, I wish.

418
00:14:08,751 --> 00:14:10,652
No, about a year ago,
she fell down the stairs

419
00:14:10,653 --> 00:14:11,954
and broke her back.

420
00:14:11,988 --> 00:14:13,188
Oh, no.

421
00:14:13,222 --> 00:14:14,690
Now she's addicted
to painkillers.

422
00:14:14,724 --> 00:14:16,230
We've been fighting a lot.
Mm.

423
00:14:16,259 --> 00:14:18,527
'Cause I want to help her,
you know?

424
00:14:18,528 --> 00:14:20,996
I guess I just love her
so much.

425
00:14:20,997 --> 00:14:22,631
But she's refusing treatment.

426
00:14:22,665 --> 00:14:23,905
Ohhh.

427
00:14:23,933 --> 00:14:25,300
We got into it again
last night.

428
00:14:25,335 --> 00:14:27,536
I went out
for some fresh air,

429
00:14:27,570 --> 00:14:29,171
but I forgot
to close the door,

430
00:14:29,172 --> 00:14:30,539
and our dog cinnamon
got out.

431
00:14:30,573 --> 00:14:31,707
Oh, no.

432
00:14:31,741 --> 00:14:33,809
Cinnamon got hit
by a drunk driver.

433
00:14:33,843 --> 00:14:35,249
<i>I wish I could say</i>

434
00:14:35,278 --> 00:14:36,878
she was put out of her misery
instantly,

435
00:14:36,879 --> 00:14:39,281
but the vet assured us
that her suffering

436
00:14:39,282 --> 00:14:42,050
was unending and terrible.

437
00:14:42,085 --> 00:14:43,085
I'm sorry.

438
00:14:43,119 --> 00:14:44,853
Just venting a little.
I-I appreciate...

439
00:14:44,887 --> 00:14:47,256
Of course.

440
00:14:47,257 --> 00:14:48,657
Anything for a good friend
like you.

441
00:14:48,658 --> 00:14:50,158
Charles, can I see you
for a minute?

442
00:14:50,193 --> 00:14:51,560
Yep.

443
00:14:51,594 --> 00:14:53,462
My first question is,

444
00:14:53,463 --> 00:14:56,832
why are the two of you doing
this self-evaluation together?

445
00:14:56,866 --> 00:14:58,967
Scully doesn't handle
pressure well.

446
00:14:58,968 --> 00:15:00,869
Um...

447
00:15:00,870 --> 00:15:02,271
Um...
Not to brag,

448
00:15:02,272 --> 00:15:04,139
but Scully and I have
a combined total

449
00:15:04,140 --> 00:15:07,209
of 14 arrests.

450
00:15:07,243 --> 00:15:09,177
Would've been 20,
but we only got 14.

451
00:15:09,212 --> 00:15:10,252
That's not enough arrests.

452
00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:11,980
Well, no one asked you.

453
00:15:11,981 --> 00:15:13,415
It's a self-evaluation.

454
00:15:13,449 --> 00:15:16,451
<i>Come on, Scully.</i>

455
00:15:19,255 --> 00:15:20,522
I'm trying to hurry,

456
00:15:20,523 --> 00:15:22,129
but when you grab the hair,
it breaks apart.

457
00:15:22,158 --> 00:15:24,493
The key is you use your hands
like scoopers.

458
00:15:24,494 --> 00:15:26,428
Just go...

459
00:15:26,462 --> 00:15:27,563
Ugh.

460
00:15:27,564 --> 00:15:29,197
<i>What the hell is going on here?</i>

461
00:15:29,232 --> 00:15:31,305
I'm sure there's a reasonable
explanation for this, sir.

462
00:15:31,334 --> 00:15:34,202
Uh, we accidentally dropped
all our loose hair

463
00:15:34,203 --> 00:15:35,437
and shaving cream
in this locker,

464
00:15:35,438 --> 00:15:36,572
so we're cleaning it out.

465
00:15:36,606 --> 00:15:38,407
Hasn't Detective lohank
been through enough?

466
00:15:38,408 --> 00:15:40,742
He just got diagnosed
with prostate cancer.

467
00:15:40,777 --> 00:15:41,777
Course he did.

468
00:15:41,778 --> 00:15:44,112
Clean this up. Now.

469
00:15:44,113 --> 00:15:47,115
Yes, sir.

470
00:15:49,319 --> 00:15:50,752
<i>What's wrong with you guys?</i>

471
00:15:50,787 --> 00:15:53,622
I've lost control
of my squad.

472
00:15:53,656 --> 00:15:55,290
<i>Should we turn some lights on?</i>

473
00:15:55,325 --> 00:15:57,059
Trying to save
electricity, Gina.

474
00:15:57,093 --> 00:15:58,760
Your massage chair is on.

475
00:15:58,795 --> 00:16:01,168
Yeah, I'm poor.
I'm not a savage.

476
00:16:01,197 --> 00:16:02,670
Man, what am I gonna do?

477
00:16:02,699 --> 00:16:04,633
Well, what if I bought
the apartment?

478
00:16:04,667 --> 00:16:06,101
What are you talking about?

479
00:16:06,102 --> 00:16:07,870
And then I could rent it
to you till you find

480
00:16:07,871 --> 00:16:08,904
a new place.

481
00:16:08,938 --> 00:16:10,038
What?

482
00:16:10,039 --> 00:16:11,206
How could you afford
this place?

483
00:16:11,207 --> 00:16:12,441
Have you been
dealing drugs?

484
00:16:12,475 --> 00:16:13,942
No, I'm thrifty.

485
00:16:13,943 --> 00:16:16,245
I cut my own hair.
I walk to work.

486
00:16:16,246 --> 00:16:17,980
I eat Scully's lunch
every day.

487
00:16:18,014 --> 00:16:20,949
I've rented the same
crap box since I was 20

488
00:16:20,984 --> 00:16:22,551
'cause it's so cheap.

489
00:16:22,552 --> 00:16:24,019
I've saved up money,

490
00:16:24,020 --> 00:16:26,027
and I'm looking for
a real estate opportunity.

491
00:16:26,055 --> 00:16:28,156
Ew. A real estate
opportunity?

492
00:16:28,157 --> 00:16:29,424
Are you being serious?

493
00:16:29,425 --> 00:16:31,093
We were drinking 40's
this morning.

494
00:16:31,127 --> 00:16:33,028
I'm saying I could
give you a fair rent

495
00:16:33,029 --> 00:16:34,463
because I would be
your landlady.

496
00:16:34,497 --> 00:16:36,932
Whoa, whoa,
you be my landlady?

497
00:16:36,966 --> 00:16:38,000
<i>You're Gina.</i>

498
00:16:38,034 --> 00:16:39,034
Your lifelong dream

499
00:16:39,035 --> 00:16:40,302
is to be on<i> wife swap.</i>

500
00:16:40,303 --> 00:16:41,803
You call gum "the dentist."

501
00:16:41,804 --> 00:16:43,711
You think Ray J
is a national treasure.

502
00:16:43,740 --> 00:16:46,008
Yeah, so what?
I'm eclectic.

503
00:16:46,042 --> 00:16:48,343
You're not better
than me, okay?

504
00:16:48,344 --> 00:16:50,412
And I'm glad
that I still own this place

505
00:16:50,413 --> 00:16:52,848
because I can happily
invite you to leave.

506
00:16:52,882 --> 00:16:55,484
Grow up, Jake.

507
00:16:55,518 --> 00:16:56,985
"Grow up, Jake."

508
00:16:57,020 --> 00:16:58,019
Oh, my goodness.

509
00:16:58,021 --> 00:17:00,289
Yeah, thanks for your help.

510
00:17:00,290 --> 00:17:02,090
Old-school styles.

511
00:17:02,091 --> 00:17:03,859
I take back the "Z"!

512
00:17:07,371 --> 00:17:08,371
Whoa, you okay?

513
00:17:08,372 --> 00:17:09,472
Yep.

514
00:17:09,473 --> 00:17:12,742
Just checking out
my new bedroom.

515
00:17:12,743 --> 00:17:13,876
Oh, good.

516
00:17:13,877 --> 00:17:15,211
It feels like scoliosis

517
00:17:15,212 --> 00:17:17,146
and smells like
10 million butts.

518
00:17:17,147 --> 00:17:19,121
<i>I take it your apartment thing
didn't work out.</i>

519
00:17:19,149 --> 00:17:21,117
When did everyone decide
to become an adult?

520
00:17:21,118 --> 00:17:22,552
I mean, I know you were born
in your fifties,

521
00:17:22,553 --> 00:17:23,552
but come on.

522
00:17:23,554 --> 00:17:24,554
Thanks?

523
00:17:24,555 --> 00:17:25,788
Get this.

524
00:17:25,789 --> 00:17:27,490
Gina just offered
to buy Nana's apartment

525
00:17:27,491 --> 00:17:29,158
as a real estate opportunity

526
00:17:29,159 --> 00:17:30,593
and become my "landlady."

527
00:17:30,628 --> 00:17:31,995
Jake...
I know.

528
00:17:31,996 --> 00:17:33,329
She was just trying
to help,

529
00:17:33,330 --> 00:17:34,497
but we've known each other
since we were kids,

530
00:17:34,498 --> 00:17:35,498
you know?

531
00:17:35,499 --> 00:17:36,733
I got her her job.

532
00:17:36,734 --> 00:17:38,801
Which an ice cream cone
could do, by the way.

533
00:17:38,802 --> 00:17:41,037
And now I find out she's been
saving all these years?

534
00:17:41,071 --> 00:17:42,605
Jake...
I know.

535
00:17:42,606 --> 00:17:44,107
The person that I'm
really mad at is myself

536
00:17:44,108 --> 00:17:46,142
for screwing
this whole thing up.

537
00:17:46,143 --> 00:17:48,545
I gotta talk to Gina.
Thanks for your help, Amy.

538
00:17:48,579 --> 00:17:49,646
Didn't say anything,
don't want credit

539
00:17:49,647 --> 00:17:50,980
in case it goes wrong.

540
00:17:50,981 --> 00:17:52,582
Yeah, that's smart,
given my track record.

541
00:17:52,616 --> 00:17:54,417
Hey, wait.

542
00:17:54,418 --> 00:17:56,619
What would you say Holt
thinks my biggest flaw is?

543
00:17:56,654 --> 00:17:57,887
Who care what Holt thinks?

544
00:17:57,922 --> 00:17:59,389
What's most important

545
00:17:59,423 --> 00:18:01,257
is what I think
your biggest flaw is.

546
00:18:01,258 --> 00:18:02,926
And there are so many
to choose from...

547
00:18:02,927 --> 00:18:05,194
Too competitive,
prone to jealousy,

548
00:18:05,195 --> 00:18:06,462
bit of a killjoy,

549
00:18:06,463 --> 00:18:07,764
your shame cigarettes.

550
00:18:07,798 --> 00:18:11,034
Oh, my God.
But your biggest flaw is...

551
00:18:11,035 --> 00:18:12,969
You suck at throwing away
your secret lists.

552
00:18:16,373 --> 00:18:17,874
Well, that was fun today.

553
00:18:17,875 --> 00:18:20,176
Although I'm pretty sure
I caught some form of face lice

554
00:18:20,177 --> 00:18:21,311
from that bag of hair.

555
00:18:21,312 --> 00:18:22,979
Being a cop is dangerous.

556
00:18:22,980 --> 00:18:24,113
Although I knew that
going in.

557
00:18:24,114 --> 00:18:26,449
Yeah, it was fun.
Hey, you wanna grab a drink?

558
00:18:26,450 --> 00:18:27,951
Oh, shoot, I would,
but I'm meeting Vivian

559
00:18:27,952 --> 00:18:29,313
for that romantic
pig colon dinner.

560
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:31,120
Hey, Rosa.

561
00:18:31,155 --> 00:18:32,488
I want to apologize.

562
00:18:32,489 --> 00:18:34,090
I haven't been much fun
to hang out with

563
00:18:34,091 --> 00:18:35,191
over the last year or so

564
00:18:35,192 --> 00:18:36,793
on account of all
the asking you out

565
00:18:36,794 --> 00:18:37,994
and smelling your hair

566
00:18:37,995 --> 00:18:39,635
and staring at you
from point-blank range.

567
00:18:39,663 --> 00:18:41,965
Yeah, you were a real weirdo.
Mm-hmm.

568
00:18:41,966 --> 00:18:43,132
But you're pretty cool

569
00:18:43,133 --> 00:18:44,734
now that you're in love
with someone else.

570
00:18:44,735 --> 00:18:45,802
Have a nice dinner.

571
00:18:45,836 --> 00:18:47,270
Oh, we will.

572
00:18:47,304 --> 00:18:48,905
They make a sorbet
out of the tail.

573
00:18:48,906 --> 00:18:51,741
See ya.

574
00:18:51,742 --> 00:18:54,911
Excuse me, Captain.

575
00:18:54,912 --> 00:18:55,912
What are you doing, sergeant?

576
00:18:55,913 --> 00:18:57,313
I'm going to yell at you,

577
00:18:57,314 --> 00:18:59,221
and I don't want Santiago
to read my lips.

578
00:18:59,250 --> 00:19:00,249
Excuse me?

579
00:19:00,251 --> 00:19:02,418
You were completely unfair

580
00:19:02,419 --> 00:19:03,418
to my squad today.

581
00:19:03,420 --> 00:19:04,521
<i>Santiago is one</i>

582
00:19:04,555 --> 00:19:06,289
of your best detectives.

583
00:19:06,290 --> 00:19:09,425
And all you wanted to do was
play mind games with her.

584
00:19:09,426 --> 00:19:11,961
Scully and Hitchcock
only arrested 14 people,

585
00:19:11,962 --> 00:19:13,530
but that's 8 more
than last year.

586
00:19:13,564 --> 00:19:15,365
They only arrested
6 people last year?

587
00:19:15,399 --> 00:19:17,066
And I know Peralta
can be childish,

588
00:19:17,067 --> 00:19:19,035
but he leads the precinct
in collars,

589
00:19:19,036 --> 00:19:21,304
and he's grown up a heck
of a lot since you got here.

590
00:19:21,338 --> 00:19:23,039
Okay, sit down, sergeant.

591
00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:25,074
I'm going to do
your evaluation now.

592
00:19:29,046 --> 00:19:30,313
Sergeant Jeffords,

593
00:19:30,347 --> 00:19:31,514
you're right.

594
00:19:31,515 --> 00:19:33,683
I have been hard
on the squad.

595
00:19:33,684 --> 00:19:34,851
You're a good leader.

596
00:19:34,885 --> 00:19:36,553
And just the fact
that you're willing

597
00:19:36,587 --> 00:19:38,721
to stand up for them
is one of the reasons

598
00:19:38,722 --> 00:19:40,156
they respect you so much.

599
00:19:40,191 --> 00:19:42,431
I could learn something
from you.

600
00:19:42,459 --> 00:19:45,762
You have every right
to feel like, um,

601
00:19:45,763 --> 00:19:47,564
um, what was it
you said this morning?

602
00:19:47,598 --> 00:19:49,032
Proud mama hen, sir.

603
00:19:49,066 --> 00:19:50,900
A proud...

604
00:19:50,901 --> 00:19:54,037
Mama hen.

605
00:19:57,107 --> 00:19:58,408
What do you want, Jake?

606
00:19:58,409 --> 00:20:00,043
I'm watching Oprah's
legends ball,

607
00:20:00,044 --> 00:20:01,911
which is what I do
every time a close friend

608
00:20:01,912 --> 00:20:03,079
hurts my feelings.

609
00:20:03,113 --> 00:20:06,616
I came here to apologize.

610
00:20:06,617 --> 00:20:08,551
<i>Look, I was mad at you</i>

611
00:20:08,586 --> 00:20:10,553
for being more together than me,
and that's not fair.

612
00:20:10,588 --> 00:20:11,955
I felt stupid,
so I acted out.

613
00:20:11,956 --> 00:20:12,962
I'm sorry.

614
00:20:12,990 --> 00:20:14,491
Yeah, you were stupid,

615
00:20:14,492 --> 00:20:16,526
and you should be sorry, Jake.

616
00:20:16,527 --> 00:20:18,795
But watching Oprah
have brunch

617
00:20:18,796 --> 00:20:21,531
with her strong woman friends

618
00:20:21,532 --> 00:20:23,466
has taught me that
it's okay to forgive.

619
00:20:23,467 --> 00:20:24,601
Great.

620
00:20:24,602 --> 00:20:26,308
Also, you should buy
Nana's place.

621
00:20:26,337 --> 00:20:27,403
Not for me.

622
00:20:27,438 --> 00:20:28,805
You should live there.

623
00:20:28,806 --> 00:20:30,473
You love that apartment,
and you said so yourself.

624
00:20:30,474 --> 00:20:31,480
It's a great investment.

625
00:20:31,509 --> 00:20:32,575
Where are you gonna live?

626
00:20:32,610 --> 00:20:33,843
Here.

627
00:20:33,844 --> 00:20:35,011
I'll sublet from you.

628
00:20:35,012 --> 00:20:36,318
I actually ran the numbers.

629
00:20:36,347 --> 00:20:37,680
I'd keep paying
the same amount of rent,

630
00:20:37,681 --> 00:20:39,215
and you would turn
a small profit.

631
00:20:39,250 --> 00:20:40,950
It's a starter apartment,
and it's my fault

632
00:20:40,951 --> 00:20:42,719
for starting when I'm 33.

633
00:20:44,555 --> 00:20:46,055
You have a deal.
All right.

634
00:20:46,090 --> 00:20:47,329
Shake, shake.

635
00:20:47,358 --> 00:20:48,758
Yes!

636
00:20:49,794 --> 00:20:50,833
Hello, Detective.

637
00:20:50,861 --> 00:20:52,061
<i>Is there a reason</i>

638
00:20:52,096 --> 00:20:53,997
you're interrupting me
mid-soup?

639
00:20:53,998 --> 00:20:54,997
Yes.

640
00:20:54,999 --> 00:20:58,101
I'm ready for my
self-evaluation.

641
00:20:58,102 --> 00:20:59,202
So I asked Peralta

642
00:20:59,203 --> 00:21:00,904
what you thought
my biggest flaw was,

643
00:21:00,905 --> 00:21:04,073
and he said, "who cares
what Holt thinks?"

644
00:21:04,108 --> 00:21:05,108
That's not surprising.

645
00:21:05,109 --> 00:21:06,743
He's very disrespectful.

646
00:21:06,744 --> 00:21:08,044
But he's not wrong.

647
00:21:08,045 --> 00:21:09,712
My biggest flaw
is that I care too much

648
00:21:09,713 --> 00:21:11,247
what you think of me.

649
00:21:11,248 --> 00:21:13,283
I should be more confident
in my own judgment,

650
00:21:13,284 --> 00:21:15,552
and I am so sure of that,

651
00:21:15,553 --> 00:21:17,120
I don't even care
if you think I'm right.

652
00:21:17,121 --> 00:21:19,155
Evaluation over.

653
00:21:19,156 --> 00:21:21,624
Enjoy your soup.

654
00:21:25,069 --> 00:21:27,829
Sync and corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/

9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net

